Screenplay: a Poem
FADE IN:
INT. MOVIE THEATER – DAY – ESTABLISHING
We’re in a sparsely populated movie theater. A film is being shown. It is silent and there is no music. We HEAR the adhesive sound of feet shuffling on sticky, black floors, which are lined with little lights in a long, plastic tube. The flickering film bounces off the disinterested audience, the long, red drapes running from floor to ceiling, and the small, hard seats. Two young boys whip snappers a few rows ahead at the feet of a man on a date, and the snappers POP is making the man angry.
I am watching the film, long face in my hands, sharp elbows on my knees. We HEAR a cow MOO, the first sounds from the film.
On the screen, in the film, a cow is lost in a heavy forest, while being hunted by ME. Sensing ME, the cow turns into a deer and hops off, causing ME to chase it.
I lean back in my seat.
I
(Sotto Voce)
I know this movie. Is this my dream?
Oh God, not this dream.
Rising and looking back at the projector
I (CONT’D)
Could we stop this please?
AUDIENCE MEMBER #1
(off screen)
Quiet down.
AUDIENCE MEMBER #2
(off screen)
That, there, it’s him, the guy in
the movie.
I sit back down and bury my long face in my hands.
In the film on the screen, the woodland ME catches the fleeing deer’s hind flank and tackles it beneath a dark tree. The deer kicks at ME, who begins having sex a tergo, which turns the deer into a large penis, which points itself to the mouth, causing ME to begin performing felatio on myself. The deer/penis becomes SEN. FRED THOMPSON, who cradles ME to a cliff and holds ME over the edge. He kisses ME, passionately, and the water at the bottom of the cliff rises until the cliff becomes a beach.
AUDIENCE MEMBER #3
(off screen)
What are you doing?
I
It was just a dream.
AUDIENCE MEMBER #1
(off screen)
Quiet down.
—————
© Dan McCarthy 2010
